Lisa Brown

Whispered by the wind and cradled by the moon, my soul walks the liminal spaces between worlds. Rivers call my name, their rushing waters singing the songs of ancient stones. Barefoot upon the earth, I weave spells with candlelight, dance beneath the moon, and tend sacred altars that echo with the whispers of Avalon. My heart beats in rhythm with the magic of a time long past—of healing witches, Merlin’s wisdom, and the breath of dragons. Step into my world, and perhaps you’ll remember yours.

“In the Circle of Three, we honor the past, connect with the present, and transform through the power of sacred healing.”

Good People can do shitty things – embracing ego subordinate

by | Feb 1, 2024 | Personal

Embarking on the path of self-discovery is typically envisioned as a grand adventure, a narrative echoing tales of “Eat, Pray, Love.” But what if this journey unfolded seamlessly within the fabric of our everyday lives? Over the past 14 years, I’ve committed to an unwavering quest to delve into the intricacies of my essence while seamlessly navigating the complexities of my daily existence. Gratitude is the word that chose me for 2024, a concept that seems easy however placed into practice I have found it a challenge as I am realizing I have placed so much focus on the big things and very little on the small miracles of everyday life I live in. Identifying myself as someone who championed the underdog and effortlessly embraced everyone, I stumbled upon a profound realization when my son eloquently stated, “Shitty people do shitty things, and good people can do shitty things too.” Initially met with laughter and denial as my ego immediately had me thinking that shitty things have certainly happened to me by some of my closest and loving people, this statement prompted me to confront my own ego-centric belief that I could never engage in less-than-stellar actions.

I recently spent time with cherished friends on a small getaway, those whose energies and healing powers uplift me. Reflecting on decades-long friendships, I questioned what it truly meant to be my ego-subordinate self. As we strolled down memory lane, revisiting days gone by, I noticed a subtle discomfort creeping in at some of our memories, an unfamiliar sensation. In moments of solitude upon returning home, I confronted this unease, for I needed to know where it stemmed from. Linking it to the thought-provoking phrase my son had shared weeks earlier, it dawned on me that even in the seemingly insignificant moments, my own greatness wasn’t as unequivocal as I had perceived. This revelation prompted deep introspection, challenging me to redefine my understanding of self, confronting and shedding the ego, and embracing the authentic nuances of my being for kindness and love truly run deep in my bones.

As this revelation came I began uncovering an uncomfortable truth – I too have engaged in doing shitty things.

As this revelation came I began uncovering an uncomfortable truth – I too have engaged in doing shitty things. For most, shitty things are perceived as big moments, acts that are blatantly shitty. Speaking in a tone that is less than kind, name-calling acts that hurt rather than love, and so on. For me, the shitty things are more the small moments. Not supporting someone who needed public support, asking someone to stop gossiping about another person who was not present to defend themselves are just two examples. I acknowledged instances where (not so long ago) I justified small actions under the guise of sparing feelings, seeking validation, as though justification made it ok. The path to self-discovery isn’t always paved with pristine intentions, and admitting one can do shitty things (even when you are not aware it is happening) is an uncomfortable yet necessary journey to experience to move forward and for me, to find solace in the paradigm of living in gratitude, love, and kindness. It was time to sit with this horrible uncomfortable discovery.

Growth comes from acknowledging these “shadows“, confronting my ego, and reflecting on those times when I was not so stellar. I questioned what it truly meant to be authentically ego-subordinate. Walk the Talk! To do this I delved into the seemingly insignificant yet impactful moments where I felt I had faltered. The journey led me to journaling, an introspective practice that allows me to confront my actions, understand their motives, and devise ways to atone, heal, and do better.

The realization that good people can do shitty things isn’t a comfortable truth, but it’s a crucial and honest one. Through journalling, I walked through moments when I was less than stellar living in ego and personally atoned for each misstep. Confronting my darkness was challenging, yet liberating. Acknowledging the flaws alongside the virtues became a cornerstone of a new journey – one focused on living in the present, attuned to the needs and love of the remarkable women in my life and everyone who crossed my path.

As you read this, I invite you to take a moment for yourself. Examine every facet of your being – ask yourself “as a good person have I done shitty things?” and examine the admirable and the not-so-glamorous parts of you. Embrace each part with a compassionate heart, acknowledging that self-discovery isn’t just about finding the light within; it’s about navigating the shadows and allowing healing to permeate from the inside out. After all, in the mosaic of our existence, every piece contributes to the masterpiece of our true selves.

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